Monday, December 6, 2010

What is Energy

What is Energy? This question is as easy or as difficult to answer as “what is money?”.

Is money the currency note you hold in your hand? But then you give it in bank and all u have is a number……yet u can swipe a card or write a cheque and get back your money. Thus we can say money is not coin or note but a concept which is denoted in many formats from currency note (which is basically a IOU note by the government) , coin , bank saving etc.

 Similarly energy is a concept Just like your money can be in multiple currencies $, euro, yuan or rouble same way energy can be in various formats heat, light, electrical, magnetic etc and you can convert energy from one format to other quite easily But we still have not come to it. What is energy. Imagine that you have a few billion dollars in your account but are stranded alone in a remote island. There are no shops there. Is your money of any use?

Now lets assume you are rescued by a local tribe which is highly advanced and has a currency called meta. One meta as per them is a million dollars and it cost 1 meta to have a proper lunch!! Overnight from being ultra rich you have become quite poor. What does this tell? Money has not much intrinsic value but it has an ability to cause transactions and these transactions have value. Similarly Energy is the ability to cause events and these events have value. How much energy and what type of energy is needed to cause which event varies

Now suppose in the land of Meta you find a telephone. You call your banker and ask him to ship you $1million worth of food. Once your food arrives you open a restaurant and sell food use the meta earned to buy dollars. You may call it trading, but in energy terms it is just conversion of energy into different formats. You are just converting dollars to meta. The real thing is food. The currency is just the virtual promise.

 Lets say you now spend 2 years doubling your cash to 15-20billion dollars and return to real world to find that USA had a double dip recession. Now 1 Yuan is 1 million $ and 1 euro is 0.5million $. Who decides whether 1$ is 1yuan, 10 Yuan or 100 yuan? Does the govt alone decide it or is it a combination of market variable, consumer confidence, Govt policies and a host of other factors? Else the USA president would love to have printed $ without worrying about inflation or trade deficits Similarly conversion from one type of energy to another is governed by a set of environmental rules and all other energy in the environment influence it. Thus we can say that energy is the ability to cause events or transactions in the real world just like money is the enabler to cause transactions and events in virtual world

Now why did I use real and virtual? Well, because of two reasons. First, energy is all around us. We need not “own” the energy but can channel the energy to cause the events just like plants channel the solar energy to create fruits and flowers. Similarly people in high government post or politicians channel the money from govt or private corporate to get the events done without owning that money. Just like the ability to channel money differs …….Obama could channel none when he was a kid, some before he was the president, a lot now since he is the president and after 2 years it will reduce once he is no longer the president. Similarly a bodies ability to channel energy also differs and depends a lot on the environment Secondly because our brain recognises energy but not money. Hence energy is real and Money is virtual. Our brain needs energy that comes by burning food in our cells. For a hungry man, food is important and not gold.

For life energy is important and not money. Because we humans are not good in understanding the concept of energy and have no natural means to carry transfer and trade energy, we use matter as a substitute of energy………… that was the start of the barter system. Then we found money to substitute for the matter as matter was bulky, difficult to carry and accurately quantify. Thus energy got substituted by matter and matter by money. Thus energy is the original real currency and the so called “govt promissory notes” or money is the virtual currency.

Then is the Egalitarian society without money possible? Definitely In future once humans advance enough to store and transfer energy effectively and without loss, we will replace the countries individual currency by energy units. Considering that all energy comes from sun (and that energy can neither be created nor destroyed), the concept of rich poor will go away. All that will be important is the ability of yours to harness or channel that energy Hence I say energy is real, matter and money are virtual

 Still unable to understand? Just imagine if tomorrow your government defaults on a single bond payment and declares that it has no money to repay its debt. What will happen to your bank balance. Try and meditate if you can. You need food to survive and not gold because your body has the ability to convert food, water, oxygen into energy and feed the brain. We hoard gold because food gets spoilt while gold does not. What if there was a direct energy capsule which could enable you to work for 3 days without needing food or feeling hungry. How much will it sell for. How much would it sell for if there were only 100 such capsules and the factory to produce them can make only 1 capsule a day. Just ponder about it………….as they say food for thought

Posted by Chaos in 03:46:19 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Maya

“Relax dear it is only a movie, the hero is not really going to die” I fibbed seeing how tensed my wife had become in the climax of the movie. She smiled for one second and again got mesmerised by the movie. Perhaps I was better able to detach myself from the surreal and real.

“Hello Rajen”

I looked around, that voice was not of my wife and only both of us were in the room. Had the neighbours walked in? Something was not right. I found myself looking at a stranger standing behind me. Time seemed to have frozen. My wife was staring at the computer but the movie was paused.

“Relax Rajen, this is only Maya” said the stranger

“WHAT!” I screamed

“Relax Rajen, no one can hear you” said the stranger

“Who are you?” I could sense fear and anger in my voice. My privacy had been violated.  The sanctity of my home had been violated.  “I will call the police” I barked

“Time has paused. Only you and me exist in this dimension.  Everything in that Maya exists in those 5 dimensions. Till you go back there, nothing exists including the cops” replied the stranger

“What do you mean” I got up from the chair and walked towards him. I wished there was a stick or rod to hit it. I paused in mid way; a rod appeared in my hand!

“WTF!” I screamed dropping the rod.  “You wished for a rod did you not” replied the stranger

“Who are you and what do you want” I screamed.  The anger had gone and only fear remained. Fear from the stranger who had invaded my home. Fear that my wife was not reacting, fear for the rod which appeared

“Relax Rajen; I am also an entity like you. You were a little too detached and not enjoying the Maya. Hence I came to check if everything is ok. Maybe you want something to change. Maybe the Maya is not fun enough for you” replied the stranger

“If I wanted change I would have filed a prayer” I blurted. Then I stopped. How…what…why did I say that. I was more shocked at my reply than the question

“Aha” smiled the stranger. “So you are beginning to come out of the Maya. Rajen you are too detached. What is the matter? This maya is created only for you just the way you wanted. But you seemed to have filled 5 grievance report and no prayer. Hence I was concerned”  

“What is going on, please explain” I literally begged

“Do you wish to go back to the Maya or should I end it. IF it is to be ended then there is nothing to explain, you will remember it all” replied the stranger

I looked at my room, my wife. Did he mean to end it! Various faces flashed in front of me. My father my mother……….. “Noooooo I want to go back”

“Good. So there is some attachment, some involvement.  Else the purpose of Maya is defeated” replied the stranger “So I am going now, you can go back”

“NO!” I was surprised at how confident I sounded. “Explain me Maya”

“Really? That will make the whole thing boring, just like u were trying to make the movie boring for your wife” replied the stranger

“Explain me Maya. I remain detached as most time my mind is trying to decipher the Maya. A 5 dimension Maya is not complex enough for a 16 dimension entity. I can sense something missing”

The stranger smiled “Is that why u immerse into games? To add another 4 dimensions? Books, movies, games and even the internet were added into maya for this purpose. Like you many others found the 4 dimension too mundane and wanted more. However building a 7or 9 dimension maya is more complex and needs more testing. Only after you clear the 4 dimension, you can move to the next”

“Wait….. I seem to remember…. There was the 2 dimension world before this. This is not my first life” I answered

“Exactly dear…the cycle of birth and rebirth.  Every time you move either up a few dimension or down a few dimensions depending on how well you adjust. That is the core of maya.  This continues till you manage to operate at 16 dimensions and then we end the maya for you. We have a problem with you because it seems you are operating at 8 dimensions in this 5 dimension world. Hence I came to check if you wanted to move into the next level” replied the stranger

“But why is Maya needed at the first place” I asked

“It will be easier to show than tell. Look around your room. If I were to take your passport and tell u that for next 10 years you were to stay only in USA. Will that be a problem for you?”

“It will be boring, but guess not a major issue as long as my family members can come here to visit me.” I replied

“How if the universe shrank a bit more….only this city of Washington”

“Well I guess it will still be ok” I said wondering what it had to do with Maya

“Only this block” asked the stranger

“Hey hey…soon you will say only this room or what” I asked

“You were always smart. Never saw anyone inside a Maya grasp the concept of Maya so soon” replied the stranger “yes only this room”

“It is sounding more like a prison…a 10 year imprisonment”

“What if you were alone….No phone, no computer, no TV” asked the stranger

“Common, in the worst of the worst prisons also there is TV nowadays” I asked

“What if you are in solitary confinement in a dark room? There is no furniture. No light” asked the stranger

I began to dread the thought. “Surely there will be other inmates. Window to see the world. At the minimum someone will bring me food”

Lets take a walk said the stranger. As I took a step forward I realised we were not in the room. It seemed like we were walking in the space.

“Looked around you. What do you see” asked the stranger

“I see the stars, I can see earth” I replied

“Yes…the whole galaxy is there to explore yet all are happy in the tiny little boring planet. It is like a dark cell for us. We do not need food. And even with others it gets boring because you see; in 16 dimensions time is no longer unidirectional. “Replied the stranger

We walked the dimension of time. I saw earth change ….go back in time till the dark ages

“You see Rajen. Despite everything, there is a difference between your perception of movie and reality because you know it is a movie and you are in control. That reduces you fun. In Maya you do not know and you are not in control. That makes it more interesting.”

I was still looking at earth. We might have walked back to 14th or maybe 12th century

“After sometime it gets boring. Being immortal has this issue. After sometime there is nothing to do. The entire universe is your playground, but then how many times you can play the same games. Hence we create. More universe, different races, different worlds in different timelines” explained the stranger

“The quantum and string theory. So there are infinite worlds and infinite possible timelines “I muttered

“Yeah whatever you want to call it. Anyway we made this maya stuff for entertainment just like inside maya there is movies, books, internet etc” replied the stranger

“Wait I exclaimed. Prayers are how we communicate with the real out of maya asking for changes in the maya as we want. Just like not all movies are comedy, some are action, some horror…depending on what setting we had chosen while entering into this Maya, you grant or reject our prayers” I rambled on

“Hey that was quick” replied the stranger “do you wish to end this maya and enter a more complex dimension? Perhaps ahead in timelines where you can go planet hopping? Or in 8 dimensions?”

“Nah…I have work to do in this Maya itself. I have still not mastered it. Or maybe I should say, I am still too attached to some of the people in it to just walk away”

The stranger looked at me “it is your choice”

“Wait. If you are the one our prayers are directed to….then you must be god!” I exclaimed

“Call me whatever name you want. I thought in Hinduism it was made clear that soul is a part of God. An enlightened soul is same as God. You direct the prayer at your heart. What you believe comes true because the maya is made for you. Depending on the parameters you selected, how well you adapted and learned in the dimensions” replied the stranger

“Ya Karma, live, birth and rebirth. The vicious cycle at whose end there is moksha or enlightenment” I muttered “but then if I am here talking to you then what am I? What is the purpose of my existence and what am I doing here?”

“Hahahahaha, relax it is only Maya. The universe is there for you. Your entertainment is its purpose. You are not created for this universe dear; it is the other way around. Check your religious books, any religion or just pick your science book. It is all out there. You see only what you want to see; you hear what you want to hear.  But then if I reveal all to you then it will be like telling the ending of a movie and spoiling the movie for you. Go back Rajen, enjoy your Maya. You do not know how lucky you are. It gets terribly boring here……….it is like a prison where there are no guards because there is nowhere to run. No one brings food because you are immortal and do not need food. Infact if not for your prayers there would be nothing for us to do. Go back Rajen, and tell everyone to pray more often and pray with conviction. We are there to help you but put your soul to it and believe in what you want.  Remember the universe was created for you”

Trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring the loud jarring alarm woke me up. I was lying in bed with my wife. Was that a dream? Was that real and this is maya? I do not know, but I know that I am perfect and I will get whatever I want………….only problem is I do not know what I want.

Posted by Chaos in 06:32:16 | Permalink | Comments (26)

Saturday, May 23, 2009

continuation from previous post


 

The trantorian commander looked at the fire’s rising from the neighbouring village of Indi. There was little he could do but wait.
When do we ride to help” asked Jacob
I wish I knew…We have to wait for Lord Chaos to decide” replied the commander

Lord Chaos, had personally assumed command of the southern cluster after the disastrous first month of the campaign. The Orcs had overrun 17 villages and millions of soldiers had died. Not only Trantorian troops but the nearby allied elves, dwarfs were also severely hit.
Jacob walked up to the hill top to the tent of Lord Chaos.
“My lord, our men are getting restless. If we do not move fast, the orcs will get another village”
Lord Chaos did not react to Jacobs statement. Slowly he looked up and said “tell me what u see”
Jacob tried to hide his irritation and replied “I see thousands of our troops idling here while the Orcs are attacking our neighbour. I remember how it feels to be all alone, and do not like to be idling here while our comrades die there.”
Lord chaos looked at the trantorian commander and said “Hope know u agree to my decision not to promote Jacob to a commander inspite of his bravery in the last war. He has no understanding of Tactics or strategy. We wait till the second wave of Orcs. Then Jacob will lead the spears and swords and go to their help. You will ride with the cavalry. I will personally lead the axes and noblemen to the Orcs villages. Let them commit enough to the battle that they cannot pull out or reorganise. A defensive army has never won in history of mankind. It is time we took the war to their village”
Jacob looked at lord Chaos in a new light. A wave of humility swept over him. He did not know what to say. Thankfully the commander came to his rescue
“Troops dismiss, spread the word we ride at day break”

Jacob looked towards the horizon trying to determine the time. HE knew it was daybreak but the dust from the thousands of horses was making it difficult to see. It did not matter much, at least he was marching.

“Jacob, keep your men in formation. No Orc will dare attack an army this size” shouted the trantorian commander
Jacob suppressed a smile. With the entire alliance reacting to the Orcish offensive, the gathered army was huge, but then no scout had ever returned from the Orcish hinterland, and hence it was difficult to guess their numbers too.
Jacob decided it was useless trying to get his men to formation in this din and dust. As long they marched it was ok. The smoke from indie’s village ensured that everyone was marching towards a single target. He wondered what happened to indie and John. For that matter what happened to the army led by Lord Chaos

 

 

 

Lord Chaos surveyed the landscape atop his majestic chestnut brown war horse. There was a tight cluster of 3 orcish village. “They will definitely support each other” muttered the trantorian commander
“IF they live long enough. Unless their riders managed to escape our assassins, we have nothing to fear” said Lord Chaos. He observed the villages and then beckoned the commanders
“Maxim, take wave 1 and 2 and hit the village on right. Julius takes the catapults and bombards the village on left. Rest of you come with me axmen and cavalry in front, noblemen behind” shouted Lord Chaos and charged towards the central village
Lord Chaos rode in front of the charge. His bodyguards and commanders tried their best to shield him, but knew it was futile. Lord chaos will be the first to enter the village, he always did that. They also knew that without archers, the Orcs had no chance of defeating Lord Chaos in hand to hand combat.
Lord Chaos ignored his body guards and rode into the village. The thrill of the wind lashing to his face, the excitement of riding into the unknown. The joy of war. He pulled out his sword and stroked his horse. “Today the sword will taste orcish blood” he muttered. The Rams seemed to be doing a fine work of demolishing the Orcish walls but lord chaos had no intention of waiting for them. He selected a low lying section of the wall and chestnut brown to leap over it. He rode into the village centre sword swinging and almost lost his balance. THE VILLAGE WAS DESERTED! There were no orcish spearmen…no troops were waiting to charge at him. No formations. The surprise did not however cloud his mind longer than a fraction of second. “To the left to the left…All troops to the left” Lord Chaos hoped he will be able to outflank the Orcs and save Maxim. He rushed to the left and saw Maxim riding in full charge towards him. “My lord the trap is here” screamed Maxim
It took a few minutes to get the scenario. All 3 villages were empty. Scouts from nearby told all Orcish villages in the area were empty. “It seems like every available Orc has gone to Indi’s village” muttered Maxim. “Hope Jacob is able to live up to his reputation and do another miracle then” told Lord Chaos. “For now, Noblemen establish fortification on these 3 villages. Send out riders we need spearmen here. Maxim prepares the men to ride deeper into Orcish lands. It will be a waste to get this fine army of axmen to stop at an empty village. Julius, take your catapults and burn the villages which our noblemen cannot fortify. We ride out in 40 minutes”


Lord Chaos looked at his troops. They looked tired and scared. Even Maxim, looked fatigued. For 3 days they had been marching deep into Orcish lands. For 3 days they have not seen a single Orc. If it was a trap, it was a huge trap. It seemed foolish to venture any deeper into enemy territory.
“Any reports from scouts? Any news from Jacob or Julius?” asked Lord Chaos
Maxim took unusually long to answer “MY lord, we have heard nothing from Jacob. Julius reports that the newly captured Orcish villages are thinly defended but not yet attacked. It seems like Orcs have attacked all villages in the K72 and K73 sectors. We are hearing about Orcish attacks from K63 and even K43. It looks like the entire Orc civilization is on move”

“that’s very unusual. Orcs usually raid and go back. This kind of pitched battles. Also their villages are empty. They have taken even younglings to the front. No sane creature will take their women and children to the front” said Lord Chaos
Commander Kirby rode up to Lord Chaos. “My lord, one scout has returned with a unusual report”
“send him here”

The scout came up and described what he saw “My lord, I rode through 4 abandoned Orc villages before I reached a rather large Orc settlement. It seemed like the orcish royalty lived there. I am sorry but temptation took over me and I entered their palace. MY lord, I believe I saw the Orcish king sit on his throne. He is all alone, the villages are empty but he is there”
“Impossible. You mean KG the Orc king is there! Alone! Let’s go and kill him and end this war” shouted Maxim.
“Silence” roared Chaos “We need him alive and need him to explain what is going on. This is not the nature of Orcs. Tell the main force to camp here. Kirby get an detachment and ride with me, let the scout lead. Maxim follows us with vanguard in case this is a trap”

The ride to the Orcish main village was half a day, but somehow it seemed to recharge the troops and not fatigue them. The fear of unknown was gone, and the smell of battle intoxicated the men. Chaos knew there was no war. From what he heard, he felt KG was broken and lost. Rather than let idle theories clog his mind, Chaos decided to concentrate at the task at hand. “Recon the village and surround it. Post sentries. We do not want to ride into an Orc trap” Kirby was issuing orders like a good commander, but Chaos knew it was not needed. There were n Orcs here except KG.
Trantor and Kirby walked up to the royal chamber. It was indeed as described by the scout. The Orc king or u can say ex king KG sat on the high throne. “Greetings Orc chief from the Trantorian armies” bellowed Kirby
KG moved slowly like an old and defeated person who has lost the will to live “So you too have come here to die. Come and join me in the hall of dead “Kirby drew his sword and the bodyguards followed their commander, but Lord Chaos stood still
KG your tribe is gone. All your villages are empty. Your men are throwing themselves at our fortified walls and dying. U has even taken younglings and elderly to battle. What is happening?” asked Lord Chaos
KG stood up. “We are not attacking you. We are escaping our curse. But we have nowhere to go. The ORCS are doomed but so are you and the elves and dwarfs. None will survive this”

speak clearly” bellowed Kirby
“It’s my mistake and only I can rectify this. Hence I alone stay. To crush the humans I let Smurf- experiment with Occult. And now it is Smurf- who is driving me men to extinction”
“What do you mean” asked Lord Chaos

Smurf- has got an army of undead and is wiping everything. He is killing everyone he see’s –Men Orc or elves and converting them. His undead army knows no friends and is a curse on every living soul. We first tried to fight him, but how do u kill the dead…..and every warrior who fell in battle rose to fight as the dead. Soon u r fighting your own brothers. It is a ghastly sight. There was little we could do. All those who could march, have migrated north. Rest were killed and their bodies burnt. Anything to prevent becoming an undead soldier. I stayed here because I made Smurf- the monster he is today and I hope to find a way to stop him” muttered KG

 

Lord Chaos looked at the target village. It seemed like any other Orcish village except for the large number of rotting and decayed bodies lying around. The vultures and stench made one nauseate.

“Everyone tie the perfumed clothes round nose. No sense loosing good men to this evil smell” Ordered Kirby

 

KG had explained that how Smurf had Orbs in 4 villages and drew his vile powers from there. IF those 4 orbs are destroyed, then he will be unable to raise new deads and hence might be defeated.

 

“This does not look that difficult. To think we had Julian drag those catapults. The village is empty, all we need to do is dash in and smash the orb” smirked Julian.

 

More Orcs have died fighting in this village than there are axmen in your entire army” growled KG “go near the village and all those corpses will stand to fight”

 

“An old man’s tale. You Orcs attack in night, I doubt those rotting meat can move especially in day time. It cannot shoo the vultures and u say they will stop us” rebuked Julian

“ENOUGH” ordered Lord Chaos “We assume that KG is right. Julian at my signal fire at the temple. Kirby take your men and guard the catapults. Alpha and bravo wave, once the cats have fired, ride in, break the orb. Ignore the undeads”

It seemed so simple….. The catapults broke the temple with ease. Nothing stirred. The men joked about the senile tale of KG. Some even went so far to say that Lord Chaos was being made fool by KG

 

“Alpha squadron charge”

 

The men charged through the rotting bodies half expecting them to raise… nothing happened at least till the first rider rode into the village

As soon as his steed stepped into the village the dead arose

 

It caught the men by surprise. They had been cautious before but had dropped their guard. It was a sight to see the bones move. “Bravo charge….use the speed, use your horses…break the orb do not fight….”

 

The old bodies moved slow and were not much of a threat, but each soldier they killed rose to fight again. These fresh bodies fought much better and faster

Now do you see, you can fight for days and the undead army will only grow. You cannot win” said KG / it was difficult to say from his tone whether he was happy at the slaughter of alpha squadron or sad that the undeads were winning

 

KG, you forget we are humans. Humans think unlike Orcs” grunted Lord Chaos.

“Load all catapults with fire…. troops burn the undeads”

The fire made a difference…the old bodies burnt well. However the undead army was still holding, infact it was winning as more trantorian troops died

“This way we all will be dead before nightfall” observed Julian

 

The fast falling morale of the troops was buoyed by a beautiful sight

 

A rider…riding fast out of the smoke….undeads chasing it…the rider held above his head the ORB!!

“Protect the rider” screamed Kirby. Lord chaos did not bother to give orders; he rode directly with his sword out. KLAAAANG his sword swooped at the riders head breaking the orb into 2. The orb sent a blast of energy knocking most men down and destroying all undead.

 

As the men were standing up, lord chaos smacked the rider

“Rider your courage in bringing the Orb makes us proud. Your foolishness of not breaking it however caused many more deaths. You will be promoted, but if u live once we return back, you will get the punishment also” said lord Chaos

 

“Men regroup…before nightfall we have to break 3 more orbs. We do not want to face the undead army at night”

 

The next village was easy once you knew the trick. JUST burn all the bodies, before entering the village. Burn everything and break the orb.

 

See KG, we have lost less than one tenth of our men and broken 2 orbs. You Orcs rely n strength and forget your use your brains” teased Kirby

 

See if u can survive the night when the undeads will attack.” growled back KG

“We intend to win this war and destroy all 4 orbs before nightfall” smiled Lord Chaos

 

The third village was dealt similarly. Here trantorian army got lucky; one of the catapult strikes destroyed the orb. We did not even have to enter the village. “Burn the village, and let’s move fast to the next village”

 

The sun was still bright. “At this pace we can destroy the fourth orb, set camp and fortify before nightfall” observed Lord Chaos

Fortify my lord?” asked Kirby

“I am not sure if we can trust KG. The orcs or the surviving undeads might attack. Remember smurf cannot raise new undeads, but his existing army remains”

 

 

 

The fourth and last village was about an hour march away when the order was given to stop. “Why do we stop so close to the target” asked Kirby

“All men to defensive formation. Catapults to center “Shouted Lord Chaos

“Can you not smell it” asked Julian

What…OMG trolls” muttered Kirby?

The COTI trolls tumbled out from all directions. “Seems like the undeads could not face our fury alone and needed every possible help”

 

Jacob looked at the scene before him and rubbed his eyes. He had followed orders and came to help the village of Indi while the bulk of the forces had gone south to find the orc’s base. While he felt reasonably confident they will win, this was not what he was expecting

“What in god’s name is happening here” muttered the trantorian commander

They were expecting Orcish swarms but the Orcs looked dead already. The trantorian army was facing thousands and thousands of dead orcs!! The army of undead had even humans and a few trolls.

“This is my worst nightmare. How do we kill the dead, and in night!” whispered Jacob. He had not felt fear when facing certain death from Orcish hoards, but here he wanted to run. Death was bearable, but becoming an undead soldier…..aaaarg

“Soldiers defensive formations…catapult ready to fire. Let’s show the undead the power of trantor” shouted the commander but even his voice did not carry the usual conviction.

Soon it was clear that it is going to be a slaughter. For every undead destroyed there were 4 more. Every trantorian soldier who fell rose up to fight for the undead.

“This was we all will be in the ranks of undead before daybreak” muttered Jacob

 

From far they could see how Indi’s men had survived till now. They were mainly using fire to slow down the undead march.  But with the front lines already engaged in combat, it will not be possible to make a wall of fire without sacrifice

Jacob suddenly felt no more fear. He knew what is to be done.

“Commander,  leave the first 3 files and ask the rest to fall a bit behind and make a wood and oil barrier ready. On my signal, all remaining troops will retreat and we will light the bonfire. Let’s cremate the dead  tonight” 

The commander looked at Jacob. He saw the front rows. He knew that Jacob also knew, that no one in the first 3 files will be able to retreat, and being in front , they will be the first to be burnt.

Jacob could also understand the look in the commanders eye “I am not afraid to die…just do not leave me as an undead, burn me” he said and rushed to the front lines

 

 

 

Lord Chaos looked at the sun and felt a wave of despair. “Kirby, Julian we can not fight this way”

Julian looked at Lord chaos “My lord, we have lost over half of our men. The trolls are too strong. We have been marching for days and fighting the Orcs and dead. They are fresh.  Either we retreat, or soon the trolls will overrun us”

Lord chaos slammed his shield “you do not understand. Once the element of surprise is gone, we will never get the fourth orb. Everyone alive will be doomed anyway”

Kirby understood the sentiments “My lord we are ready to die. But there seems to be no good way”

Chaos surveyed the battlefield “ the trolls fight in cluster. It will not be difficult for a small force to break out and ride out”

“And do what” asked KG “your catapults are the one doing maximum damage to the trolls and are too slow. You can not run with those.  Even if you reach the village what you intend to do? Enter it in the night? The undeads will soon join the troll army at sunset. You did well lord Chaos, but tonight you will perish here. Die brave”

Lord Chaos looked at KG with contempt “We are trantorians. Kirby, hold the lines. Julian prepare the riders to go with me. We will ride to the village, break the Orb and then come back to assist you”

KG mimicked Chaos “We will ride, die in the village and return as undead to kill u Kirby”

Lord chaos pretended not to hear it. “Lets go not Julian, there is not much time before sunset”

 ——————————————————————————————————————————————–


 

John hewed the undead orc’s head from his body with a quick twist of his sword in its arc, and quickly moved to parry the thrust of the Undead beside him. Between thrusts and parrying left and right, he glanced up long enough to observed something which warmed the cold which had pentrated his heart at the thought of fighting his own men when he fell. Upon a nearby knoll he saw that his outriders had reached their destination, and all was not lost. The Trantorians had appeared with more men than he himself had to begin with. Such is the sight paintings are made of. Balls of fire arcing, men diing, and then upon a nearby hill, something so simple.. Yet it represents something greater than the manpower. It meant hope.

“To the BANNER! Rally to the banner of the Golden Sword!”, John bellowed out, “Help has come!!!”

Cheers went up through out at the sight of the renewed flamings of the Undead hordes. And laughter-Can you believe it?- at seeing Smurf- scurry forth as scared as can be to the center of his men, now surrounded by toch bearing people. However, something else puzzled John.. “Mingus, come here..” he shouted at his second in command. “What is that beside Smurf-?”

Mingus replied with anguish “That’s an apprentice! I can tell by his robes.”

Suddenly there was a flash of light, and the apprentice they’d seen had dissappeared! John exclaimed “D’arvit! Now his works will be carried on even after the death of Smurf-.” What he didn’t know was that the apprentice, named ‘Deb’ had reappeared.. At the village with the last orb.

With the new found confusion within the Undead ranks, John had time to pull back a few men, and retreat to the village. He ordered every oil lamp, and scrap of tar to be brought out by the women and children. This was their fight as much as his. He brought the oil to the middle or the dusty courtyard where a singular catapult not sent out for fakes remained. There they loaded it with oil, and other highly flammable materials, targeted the center of the horde outside..and fired. The ball arced out over the battlefield, flaming bottles of oil scattering in many directions, but overall remaining whole.. Until it crashed down right in the middle of the Undead. Killing Smurf- and leaving his army of Undead in his wake. Now it would be easier, for the undead wouldn’t return to fight again.

John shouted out “Lances READY!!” and chraged forth..

 

Kirby looked at the dust trail showing Lord Chaos and Julian go. They had only 200riders with them. Kirby felt that was suicidal, but then he also knew that once nightfall comes and the undeads reinforce the troll hoards, it will be certain death for his men too. Suddenly he spotted something. A lone rider was zigzagging across the battlefield and riding hard to him. The rider managed to evade all the trolls and reach close to Kirby. Kirby was real amazed at his skill.

[i]“I have a message for Lord Chaos”[/i] said the rider

Kirby noticed that the rider dress seemed different, he was an elf. [i]“Lord Chaos is not here, I am in charge”[/i]

The rider gave a strange look and continued speaking[i] “We were attacked by humans yesterday. We thought perhaps humans did not enjoy our alliance and I led a batch of my STORM troopers to hunt them down. I found that those were undead soldiers led by Hocchamp. After I slaughtered his pathetic group, I took my army and came to meet Lord Chaos to find out what is going on. Guess you guys can do with some help”[/i]

Kirby peered hard but could see no other elf. “[i]You are a brave and good rider, but I doubt one rider will make much difference…..” [/i]Kirby stopped in mid sentence as the sky thickened with arrows. There were joyous cries “[i]the elves are here”[/i]

Kirby looked at the elven rider “[i]we must assist Lord Chaos. Even with your help, we will find it difficult to survive the night unless the undeads power source is destroyed”[/i]

The elfish rider clearly was not impressed [i]“Hocchamps army did not seem that impressive. Are you sure the undeads are such a huge threat? Anyway, we have set a camp in the neighbouring Orc village of Kai. After we rout the trolls, we can fortify there or the night”[/i]

Kirby looked towards the sun…”[i]it will be dark in an hour’s time[/i]”

 

 

 

Lord chaos looked at the last undead bastion. [i]“No trolls here”[/i] mentioned Julian.

[i]“On my signal, you and the riders fan through and set fire to everything”

 

“Everything? “

 

“Yes, the corpses outside first and then ride into the village and set fire to it”[/i] continued Lord Chaos

[i]“MY lord, once we enter the village, the undeads will rise. With darkness approaching we will be trapped in our own fire”[/i] objected Julian

[i]“What makes you think, I plan to escape the fire Julian? The fire will ensure I do not become an undead warrior. Do you realise what havoc it will be if I am seen leading an undead army against the Elf or Dwarfs”[/i]Julian flinched. The idea of certain death, he did not relish, but choice there was none.

 

[i]“Men we fight for our brothers locked in mortal struggle with the troll, we fight for our brethren holding the undead at bay at Indi’s village. Let their sacrifice not be in vain”[/i] shouted lord chaos and charged towards the undead village.

The men knew their work and soon the entire village was one smoking inferno. In the smoke and heat it was difficult to differentiate humans from undead. How many riders died in the fire and how many were killed by the undead was never found out.

7 riders with Lord Chaos and Julian made it into the main temple. In all previous battles, this building was crushed to rumble by the catapults and in the rubble they had seeked the orb. Now in the dark mazes, it was a nightmare. One could hear and smell the pursuing undead forces. They stench of decayed and burnt flesh was the only thing which forced Julian not to dismiss it as a bad dream

 

[i]“My lord, the undeads are fast catching up and the maze seems endless.” [/i]Observed a rider.

The maze ended in a large hall. There was a narrow staircase leading down. Julian realised that while the humans will climb down the staircase, the undeads will not think and jump down.

 

[i]“My lord, I will delay the undead here…. “

“Julian, you cannot stop them”

“Plz go my lord.  Every minute counts. We cannot fail”[/i]

 

Lord chaos felt a tear trickle down his eye. Julian and he had fought many battles together and there was not even time for a farewell. Lord chaos dashed into the stairway with 3 riders following him. The rest stayed with Julian.

<grr indi posted faster….changing the line>

 Julian heard the footsteps approach and braced for his final fight. it was amazing that Julian did not impale KG when he burst through the tunnel

[i]“what are you doing here”[/i] barked Julian

[i]“This is my village and I know it better than you. This tunnel connects it to the village of kai. now stop standing like a fool and rush down”[/i]

 

[i]“there is an undead army rushing here and we have to stop it”[/i]

[i]“you fool, you can not even read the signs. Smurf is dead. There is no more undead army. But deb is going to try and escape with the orb. We must stop him. Else he will resurrect Smurf again.”[/i]

Julian, KG and the riders rush down. A ghastly scene awaits the,

Deb had killed and raised 2 riders as undead. Lord chaos and the last rider were locked in combat with Deb and the undeads. With Julian and the riders rushing in, the odds seem to go back in favour of the humans.

It felt odd trying to kill your own riders, and the battle seemed to be slipping out when another rider fell and rose as undead, however Julian managed to cut off Debs head and ended the fight.

[i]“Great timing Julian”[/i] said lord chaos. The 3 remaining riders were busy burning the bodies scared that they might rise.

One of the riders came up to Lord chaos “[i]Here is the final Orb my lord”[/i]Chaos looked at the orb which had brought such mahem. He raised his sword to break it and end the era of undeads.  Suddenly KG thrust his sword forward shouting “[i] the Orb is mine, u will not break it”[/i]

 “NNOOOOOOOOOO “ with the cry Julian pushed Lord chaos aside and took the blow at his chest. Lord chaos felt a blinding fury seeing his best man die …die after ending the war. The riders quickly impaled KG. Like a man posses he was frothing and trying to grab the orb

‘[i]Mine mine my orb…”[/i]  KG’s blabbering was cut off in middle as lord Chaos cut off his head.

 

[i]“there is little time to mourn. Pick Julians body, we will not let the undead defile it. Lets hurry back to Kirby”[/i] said lord chaos while smashing the Orb

[i]

“My lord it will be already dark now. the fire and undead army will make it impossible to go the way we came” observed a rider

 

“KG mentioned a tunnel. he came thrugh it. if we use that we can go directly to the village of Kai”[/i]

 

[i]“Lets go then… we have come so far, Lets see it to the end” [/i]souted lord chaos

 

The tunnel was long, dark and stank of the orcish filth. Lord Chaos led the way, with the torch and sword. 2 riders brought the body of Julian and the last rider covered the rear.

“My lord do you think Kirby and the forces are still alive. The COTI trolls were too many” asked a Rider. 

Lord Chaos did not reply. He knew the trolls could be made to scatter easily, but not when they ha numeric superiority.  “The tunnel slopes upward, we are almost there” replied Lord Chaos evading the question.

There were a bit of minor scuffles with the elfish guards but soon Kirby came and cleared the confusion. “My lord we thought the undeads were attacking from the tunnel” explained Kirby

“It certainly stinks like that” added the elfish commander.

 

“No problems, Good to see you alive. With Smurf and Deb gone, the undeads should not be a problem now” asked Lord Chaos.

“Look for yourself” replied the elfish commander “To the east we have the remains of the undead army. Leaderless but still numerous.  To the west are the hordes of COTI trolls. In the south are the Orc vanguards who are trying to reclaim their lost honour.”

“And the north is free?” asked Chaos

“Not exactly sir. The rag tag rabble of VIRUS, PIRATE and other rabble led by the XP warriors. Not much but still block our path there” explained Kirby

“Well on the brighter side, we are alive and we know no one will become an undead now” grinned Chaos. Even though surrounded, it looked better now. Atleast mankind was safe from the scourge of the undead.

The night sky was suddenly lit up as over two dozen fireballs streaked through the night sky.

“It’s from the east. If the undeads do not fear the fire, we are in deep shit” muttered Lord Chaos. The fireballs were but not meant for the village. They landed smack in between the undead hordes scattering them.

“What how” asked the elfish commander. In the fire light one could clearly see neat rows of catapults launching fireballs. “Bless Indi, John and Jacob has arrived with the vanguard. They defeated smurf and are eager to crush the remains of the undead”

“ONLY one question remains, will the MANIC orcs fight with us or will they fight against us in the war against the undeads”

Posted by Chaos in 07:03:35 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Friday, May 15, 2009

TW: Story I wrote in that forum


 

The trantorian commander looks at the orc hoards at the borders. They were more numerous than sand in a beach. Captain Jacob could see the signs of strain on the commander’s face.
“My lord, our allies will help. We had sent the riders”
“Who will come? The elves?  The dwarfs? No one will come. In this war we are all alone”

Captain Jacob knew it was true, but he needed the troop’s morale to be high to have a fighting chance. “My lord, surely our bases in K24 and K25 will not let us down”

“hahahaha , surely you are joking Jacob. They will come at dawn. Look at those troops. Look at our pathetic motley group of spearmen. Do you THINK we can last the night? They will come at dawn to bury us or simply turn back seeing the smoke rising from the village”

Jacob walked out. The commander had given up. It was now upto him only. 
He signalled the guards and a dozen came running. “You two, escort the commander to the sick bay. He wants to inspect our wounded” with over a dozen attacks in last 7 days, it would not be suspected.  Infact it might even help if a few of those thousand wounded got inspired seeing their commander and came out to fight.
“Rest of you come with me, we need to get the walls up if we are to survive the night”
 

Jacob looked from the wall top.

It seemed like the Orcs will come in 11 waves. It was too dark to distinguish what vile creatures were there, but there were gaps in the ranks.
“Spearmen and swordsmen to front. Axemen behind. “
There were no horses left to charge, but he hoped enough spearmen were there to cover the walls.
“To the walls to the walls…they are bringing the rams in”
Jacob rushed to the main door. The Orcish axes seemed to be everywhere. Darn they had enough rams to break the walls.
“Watch out, here they come”
Jacob just managed to see the blur of MANIC light cavalry burst through the ranks of his swordsmen and spearmen

“Remember men, the Orcs take no prisoners. We fight for our country, we fight for our lives.” roared Jacob and thrust the pike into a charging LC.

It seemed a blur after that. Orcish axes were numerous but the humans fought for honour, for glory and more than that for their lives. When it seemed there was no hope, there was the sound of a horn. The cavalry or Rohan had reached!!
Impossible as it may seem, the heavy cavalry of rohan swept through the broken walls scattering the Orcish axemen

Jacob smiled. “We might live to see the dawn yet” then he noticed something. The rohan cavalry…they were not fresh reinforcement but the battle weary and injured men from the neighbouring village of Gondor. “OMG!! U left the village of Gondor undefended and came to die here. Lord forgive our sin”

The Rohan leader rode upto Jacob “You in charge here?”
Jacob did not know what to say “How many survive?”
The rohan leader was missing a hand. His body had more cuts than cloths
“200 of my men survive, we held their 5 attacks. We killed 4 of their noblemen, but there are more of them”
Jacob could only murmur “There were 11 waves”

Jacob cursed himself the minute he uttered the word. It was as if something snapped in the rider. As the rider collapsed his last words were “give my men a burial if possible”
Jacob looked at the rohan riders. He looked at the walls now teeming with the 5th Orcish wave
” see u in heaven my friend. I will join u soon”
picking his spear Jacob took stance next to the fallen rohan leader.
” No orc will sully the body, till I die” grunted Jacob. He knew without a miracle he will not survive the night
for a long time it seemed that waves of Orcish axemen crashed on Jacob and his spearmen. After every wave, it seemed like there were less spearmen but more Orcs. Jacob kept stabbing and slashing. Initially his hands burned and he felt tired but soon it passed away. He felt nothing. No fear, no anger no fatigue. Mechanically he moved his spear

Suddenly Jacob realised he was alone. The files of spearmen were gone. Jacob smiled. His time has come. Then he heard a voice “This way, run before the orcs reach”

“Run? Flee….flee from war. NEVER” thundered Jacob. “I rather die here than run”
Jacob felt someone was vigorously shaking him, he turns to face his commander
“My lord, you did not fight and now you are asking me to flee”

The trantorian commander smiled “We are the best not because our spears are sharper than the orcish axes. We are the best because we are smarter than them. They have 3 more axe waves, but you can see the banner of our reinforcement. They will be here soon. It is best we go and help them with logistics”

Jacob did not understand it, but he knew that the commander had won more wars than he had fought. He followed his commander

He turned back to see the Orcish warriors teem over his village. his men had fought and died there…the image of the Rohan rider leader fighting on even after losing an arm came the sharpest…and he and he was fleeing
Jacob felt more dead than alive. He could feel the fatigue and nausea overtake his will power to stand and fight 

 

  Jacob came back to senses and grappled for his spear. He was drenched and something bright was shinning on his eyes. “What where” yelled Jacob becoming more nervous as he could not find his spear
Calm down…here is your armour and spear” said the sergeant
Jacob looked around? He was in the wounded camp. “What happened?” he asked

The sergeant seemed to ignore him and walk on. The guard hurriedly muttered a few words before following the sergeant “you passed out; we came with reinforcement and faced 3 more waves. The orcs have reached the wounded camp. If they come in, our comrades will be slaughtered. Must protect the wounded”

Jacob grabbed his spear and rushed to the door. He was appalled and shocked by the sight of the men guarding the door. Not one of them was whole. It seemed like the dead had risen to fight. He could see the fear in their eyes. He could almost sense the fear
Jacob heard a scream “Let me die in battle than in bed” … an orderly was trying to push a trantorian swordsman back to bed. The swordsmen had 2 Orcish axes embedded in him. There were lance bits all over him
“How can he be alive” muttered Jacob. Somehow the sight of the swordsman waking to the front made the men bolder.
“If we die, we die with the glory for which the trantorians are known for…Let the Orcs regret the day they set their sight on trantorian land…FOR TRANTOR

The wild cries of  FOR TRANTOR  were cut short by the Orcish charge
  the stench of blood especially Orcish blood was overwhelming. Those survivors, who could walk, stepped out of the camp to aid the survivors if any
Jacob was angry that no one came to help. Neither the dwarfs nor the elves. But then he remembered those who came and died. The horsemen of rohan. The trantorian swordsmen from K24 and K25.  It was not their war, yet their blood was making the village fertile
“you still live Jacob”
Jacob turned to see the trantorian commander. “Seems like we will survive after all”
Jacob did not say anything…he could not say. He watched as the sight unfolded in slow motion in front of him. The commander smiling and greeting him. The commander’s body guard pushing the commander…the Orcish lance impaling the commander
Jacob had fought many wars under him; he felt the bile in his throat. He then felt a rage.
They killed the commander….” roared Jacob and rushed with his spear stretched. The scattered trantorian soldiers followed his lead.
The orcish cavalry had perhaps expected the trantorian forces to flee seeing their commander fall, they had come prepared to slaughter the fleeing forces and not ride into a spear wall.
 The sun was directly overhead now. In the bright sun, the Orcs will not attack.
There was 7 hours left

 

My lord” whispered the guard. It sounded strange  to Jacob. He called the commander that way, no one called him lord
My lord, you are the highest rank survivor, hence it is up to you to take the role of commander”
the truth dawned on Jacob. If he was senior most, it meant over a dozen high ranking commanders had died in the night.
What is the scout report” asked Jacob
Scouts estimate 7 more waves, though the analyst say 4 of the waves look thin
how many men do we have” asked Jacob. He looked around, he doubted there were many alive
About 500 men my lord” replied the guard
including the injured?”Asked Jacob
the guard suppressed a smile “even the doctor got 2 orcish cuts. There is not one here who does not have a scar from yesterday night”

My lord my lord” screaming a scout rode in
is this the way to barge in “admonished the guard
Speak” ordered Jacob

My lord strange troops, thousands of them from the east”
“More orcs? But orcs come from west and south…our troops from north”

muttered Jacob
“No my lord, they are not ours, nor they look like Orcs. They bear no alliance flag” replied the scout

“With 500 men, we cannot hold one wave, forget 7 waves. Open the gates and welcome them. If they are Orcs, we are as it is doomed.”

Jacob looked at the rows after rows of the strange men. They did not speak. They did not have alliance flag. If they fought as well as they marched, then tonight the Orcs will have a fitting answer

The leader of the men came to Jacob. “3 more waves of our men are coming. A long time ago we fought along with your kind in K14 and K15. We are here to honour that commitment”

Jacob felt like crying. The elves and dwarves did not respond even after sending riders. But here his village was full of troops of because of an ancient friendship. A thing never expected. Smiling Jacob walked to his men
there is still some good left; the Orcs will not win, at least not tonight”

—————-Completed——————-

 

Posted by Chaos in 15:56:48 | Permalink | Comments (81)

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

RECESSION IN THE DESI HYDERABADI WAY

/* unfortunately not original but still deserves a place here*/

Khaja Bhai is the proprietor of a small Nehari ki hotel at Madina building, Hyderabad . Sales are low and, in order to increase them, he comes up with a plan to allow his customers to eat now and pay later. He keeps track of the meals consumed on a ledger. Word gets around and as a result increasing numbers of customers flock to Khaja Bhai’s Hotel. Khaja Bhai’s suppliers (gosh wala, kulche wala etc etc) are delighted and are very willing to sell more and more raw materials for the meals he prepares. Khaja Bhai shows them his ledger of receivables and they extend him credit. A young and dynamic customer service consultant at the local bank recognizes these customer debts as valuable future assets and gives Khaja Bhai a credit line and then increases his borrowing limit. Taking advantage of his customers’ freedom from immediate payment constraints, Khaja jacks up the prices of his Nehari, Kulche, Jabde, Paaye and Zabaan. Customers don’t mind the increased prices, as they are not required to pay on the spot anyway. Sales volume increases massively, Banks and suppliers lend more; Khaja Bhai opens several branches across Abids, Basheerbagh & Secunderabad. He sees no reason for undue concern since he has the debts of the customers as collateral. At the bank’s corporate headquarters, expert bankers recognize Khaja’s customer loans as assets and transform these into BONDS. These negotiable instruments are given exotic names such as JABDA BOND, PAAYA BOND, ZABAAN BOND AND KULCHA BOND. These securities are then listed on the Stock Exchange and traded on markets worldwide. No one really understands what the names mean and how the securities are guaranteed, but, nevertheless, as their prices continuously climb, the securities become top-selling items. One day, although the prices are still climbing, a credit risk manager of the bank decides that the time has come to demand payment of one of the debts incurred by Khaja Bhai. Khaja in turn asks his clients to pay up. One by one they refuse; the clients cannot pay back the debts. Khaja Bhai refuses to serve them anymore. The clients stop coming. He is really screwed now. He cannot fulfill his loan obligations and therefore claims bankruptcy. All Bonds drop in price by between 80 to 95%. The suppliers of Khaja, having granted generous payment due dates and having invested in the securities are faced with similar problems. The Meat Supplier defaults on payment to the Cattle Supplier and claims bankruptcy. The Kulche Ka Aata supplier is taken over by a competitor; Khaja lays off the cook and staff. Bankruptcies soar, unemployment mushrooms. The bank that lent the money in the first place is set to collapse. It is later saved by the Government following dramatic round-the-clock consultations by leaders from the governing political parties with Khaja Bhai commuting back and forth in his Executive Jet and Mercedes 500SEL, brokering the deal. The funds required to save the economic collapse are obtained by a tax levied on the common citizens, Most Of Whom, Do Not Eat No Nehari No Zabaan No Sirey No Paye…!!!

Posted by Chaos in 11:11:22 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, April 6, 2009

The passenger need not go where the train goes


 

Our story starts with a sheikh in UAE during the recession days of 2009. He had many companies and was quite well off. He wanted something unique to boost the morale of his workforce during the recession .So he calls his trusted aide Mr. Aryan and ask him to build a new vehicle.  The vehicle should be big, red and have his company’s logo. Thus everyone will realize that they are doing quite well and motivate his workforce

Mr. Aryan was bit worried. They had many industries but none made cars. So he decided to hire an external agency called DW to make the car. DW consultants came and started designing the car. The Sheikh had given only one line requirement “big, red and have companies logo”. The DW team made a vehicle which resembled a cross between a 16 sitter bus and a taxi. It could carry 15-20 workers and had the company’s logo.  However on the trial run, the vehicle has some starting problems. Mr. Aryan was scared that DW might be not giving a good item. He hired a well known car designer. The Car designer was horrified when he saw DW’s design. He said “this design is pathetic, think like a sheikh….big means rolls Royce, red means Ferrari. So the car must be a cross between a Ferrari and Rolls Royce”

Soon the Car designer gave his requirements to DW. The car should go from 0 to 100 in 1 second, take a U turn at 80 miles speed, and have ultra brakes to stop in 1 meter distance even at 100mph. The project saw huge cost and time overrun. The new product was competing with the best in F1 circuits. There were many failures, the car took 2 seconds to go from 0 to 100 etc. After many a hiccups, delay and huge cost overruns, the car was finally completed.

Due to the delay and increased cost, there was huge hype for the car. Everyone had heard so much for it. On the “D Day” the sheikh was shown the car. He literally exploded.  “ i wanted a vehicle to carry my workers. It was to be cross between a 16 sitter and a taxi” everyone pointed finger at DW but DW showed the original design. Mr. Aryan rushed to find the car designer, but by then showing the wonderful design which was a cross between Ferrari and Rolls Royce, the designer has gone to his next job.

2 years from then, DW is still showcasing the car as a masterpiece, the car designer has risen to new heights with more such marvelous designs and Mr. Aryan has completed 2 years of unemployment. Same car, same design made some hero’s and destroyed someone’s career.

 

Posted by Chaos in 17:46:42 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

katora party

The Katori party


 

Considering that the major activity done by our honourable politicians is begging, I wonder why there is not a “katora party”

Think of it, they can beg better for votes, beg the USA to declare Pakistan a terrorist state, beg to the west to punish those responsible for the Mumbai attacks. We will save so much !! no need for costly election, whoever can beg for more money in the traffic light or traffic jam will get the highest post

Before you pooh this idea and throw it to the garbage bin, think again, THIS is the highest form of democracy. Most of the educated and rich never vote, now they will. You can vote from the luxury of your AC car without having to queue up.  “Darling while going for the party tonight can we go via brigade road, I want to vote for the municipality election” Think of it, how many of you have voted in the local municipality election…for that matter even the state or national election. Ya the dirty smile on your face tells me that you did not even know we had a municipal election.

All our problems can be solved by the Katora party. No more strong arm tactics or birthday donation, no more underhand bribes….the grand katora will decorate the party office and all govt buildings. We will feel proud while contributing to this charity instead of feeling guilty about the bribes. Who knows maybe we will even get a tax rebate for the contribution

Elections will no longer be a costly affair with 4000 odd crores being spent, but will be the worlds greatest fund raising event. After all, the person who collects (plz do not call it begging) the maximum funds gets the highest post. We can also throw in a TV crew and add elements of reality show to make it more exciting

It will benefit the nation also more. A proficient katora collector (there is a million dollar lawsuit if you call him or her beggar. The beggar association of India finds is demeaning and insulting that their hard labour is compared to politician’s antics) can get more aid from the west; maybe even get to declare Pakistan a terrorist state.

I think this is the perfect solution to all our problems. So let us a little prayer to the lords (you can select your own god, or if you are narsicst enough then say a little prayer to yourself) so that the great Indian katora party (obviously with the bowl as symbol) is born soon. Being a true Indian, I will do nothing about it but crib and pray and hope that the gods will set the events in motion for salvation of my great country.

I apologise if I hurt the sentiment of any honest and hardworking beggar, but do not worry, things do not change fast enough in India to have any threat to your livelihood.

Posted by Chaos in 02:53:08 | Permalink | Comments (2)

fate

“Dadi look there is foodworld, we must turn right now” screamed 9 year old Rohan.  “Ram singh , right modo, right” dadi urged their driver. “Per madam, woh one way hai. Waise bhi Bangalore mein bahut saare food world hai” grumbled Ram singh and continued snaking in and out of the famous Bangalore traffic.

6 days ago, Dadi’s eldest grandson Ashok had returned from USA. With the economic crisis of 2009, the family felt he was better off handling their factory in Bangalore than struggling for a job in USA. As Ashok was returning after almost 4 years, the entire extended family was there at the airport to greet him. Unless you have seen it, it is difficult to imagine, but in India generally the scene at airport is nothing less than a festival. There can be sometimes as many as 50 people to receive a single soul, assuming he is not a celebrity. If the person is a minor celebrity then even Obama will shy seeing the crowd.

Anyway somehow in that chaos and confusion, some long lost relative managed to sight Dadi and had given dadi his address. Now Rohan , the 9 year old warrior of the family was given the brave task of fighting through the Bangalore traffic and escorting Dadi to the elusive address. Considering Dadi’s memory and how she had scribbled the address on her palm, both her Sons were convinced it was just a Bangalore exploration trip and will end up nowhere.

“Look Dadi the green tower, green tower” shouted Rohan as if he had spotted a flying elephant.  The rundown 3 stories high green building was a disgrace on name of tower, but in India shops and weird coloured buildings are often use as landmark. I do wonder how GPS will work in a place where there is no lane numbering or clear codes. Anyway due to Rohans enthusiasm, Ram singhs unquestioning trust on Dadi and a few hundred other minor factors finally Dadi arrived at the location

“Dekha Ram singh maine address theek note keeya tha. All those fools thought I have become old and cannot remember a address, but see we have reached. Now you go and drop Rohan in the Mall and pick me back after 3 hours” ordered Dadi to Ram singh

10 minutes after Ram singh had driven away, Dadi realised that the address was indeed wrong. However in India people treat their guest with respect, especially if they are old. And Dadi had come with a basket of fruits!! . The family living in the house were more than happy to entertain Dadi. After all it is not everyday someone drops into your home with gifts. And we Indians are excellent in finding common factors and making friends. Cheering for the same team, like the Indian cricket team, or just sharing the same mother tongue is sufficient to become friends. Within 45 minutes dadi was chatting like old friends with Mrs Agarwal, the 50 year old lady of the house. The agarwal family was a nuclear family, but they had one common thread with Dadi. Dadi’s grandson was in America and Agarwal’s Daughter had recently returned from America. The minor fact that Rohan was in Boston and Agarwals daughter was in California did not make difference. After all America is America. Boston, California, new York and Washington are just address variation.   

However after only 90 minutes of talking, they were running out of topics and Mr Agarwal was about to return with their daughter Savitha. Hence Mrs Agarwal feeling very ashamed and shy asked Dadi how she plans to go back and should she ask her husband to drop her. Well thanks to some miracle of technology called mobile phone, Dadi did manage to contact Ram singh.  Ram singh was at that moment driving Rohan,  Ashok and a few other grandchildren back to the mall but as soon as Dadi’s orders were heard, the vehicle changed it’s direction. Well soon the vehicle was at the wrong address, and the 7 kids somehow squeezed themselves to make space for Dadi. During this exercise of space optimisation, which would shame even the most experienced logistics manager of the west, Mr Agarwal car arrived. True Mr Agarwal was surprised to see a bevy of small kids making noise in his portico, but seeing the “brand” of the car and Dadi’s smiling face, He did not mind it. Soon there were a flurry of introduction flying back and forth made even more confusing my the cries of Ashok and Savitha

“Tum yahan! Per” muttered savitha

“Hey I did not follow you, it is an accident” replied Ashok

“yeh kya ho raha hai” poked in Rohan

“dono America mein the, jante he hoge” said the all knowing Dadi

Anyway the confusion soon cleared. Ashok and Savitha had met in the flight back to India. In those few forced hours together, they had become friends. However they decided that as there was little possibility of continuing their friendship back in India, there is no point in exchanging numbers or mail id’s. If they were destined to meet, then God will make them meet again.  The destiny’s hand could not be so easily ignored and one thing led to other and soon Savitha and Ashok found themself married

But our story begins 50 years after the marriage J

Well now Savitha and Ashok had reached Dadi’s age. They were remembering their nostalgic past. 

Ashok “ darling, I have a confession to make. I did follow you to your home 50 years ago. I had given $200 to a taxi at the airport to follow you and get me your address. I had given the address to Ram singh. Dadi did not by mistake reach your home, it was not Destiny’s hand but Ram singh following my instructions”

Savitha laughs “Lo je ab bol rahe ho. For last 50 years I took extra care of your Dadi and followed all her tips on long memory because I thought ke airport per ek bar mera cousin ne unko address bola and she not only remembered but also managed to find the house and come”

Ashok lovingly punches her “oh so the mysterious relative was your creation, pehle nahi bol saki. I spent 2 days trying to find that address to thank our benefactor”

Savitha “Kaise bolte, Destiny ka hand tha isleye both families ignored the caste and creed and got us married. Tumhara haath hota to mein koi aache Marwari family ke sethni hote. Tum jaise kanjoos ke biwi hoker amrica mein naukri nahi karne padti”

Ashok “Aaacha mein kanjoos…”

Hey hey you…why listening to husband wife fight. Nothing better to do? Go back to work

Posted by Chaos in 02:52:08 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Dubai—Lifecycle of an apartment.


 

 

Dubai—Lifecycle of an apartment.

 

Once a long long time ago, a person decided to make money helping the needy in Dubai. Let’s call her the Broker or B. B rented an apartment, and decided to sublet it after furnishing it. Thus she will be helping the short term travelers and new people to Dubai. She got a nice apartment for 12000, furnished it and rented it out.

Initially there were 3 people in the apartment. Let’s call them C, D and E. C&D shared a room and gave 3000 each, E had a single room and gave 5000. This gave B 11000. Thus the minute she rented out the third and last room, she will move to profit. The third room was the smallest. As the largest room went for 3000*2 = 6000, the next room for 5000, she expected the smallest room to go for 4000. Thus she will get 15,000 as rent. She pays 12,000. A nice profit of 3000 per month for her work and furnishing.

Fortunately or unfortunately, a group of 3 people decided they could somehow fit into the tiny room. They were willing to pay 1800 each. This was slightly more than what B expected. She was happy. Then she felt if the tiny room is giving so much, then should not the big room give more? She was happy with the setup. You may call it her greed, but I think it was smartness to recognize the market dynamics. Common it made sense …small room goes for less than big room.

So she re-negotiated with the C&D. finally they agreed to take in a third person (lets call him S). B got higher rent, she was happy. And everything went nice for a few days. Now the people in the tiny weenie room felt that 1800 was too high, they could afford only 1500. B was not in favor of reducing rent. So they agreed to bring in a fourth person. So know it was 4*1500 == 6000 for the tiny room. Now B felt the middle room where E was staying was undervalued. If the tiny room gave 6000, that room should give 7000. E resisted and then finally agreed. Now it made sense that the big room should give 8000. So she started pestering the C&D to take a fourth person……

 

That’s how the ghettos in Dubai with 10-12 people in a 2BHK are built

 

Now what happened one day   S asked C how these ghettos was built. C called D&E and all 4 soon were talking about the good old days. They then remembered that the rent has not changed for B. So they decided to find new apartments for themselves. First E found one and flew away. Bit later C, D and S also got a better apartment.

Initially the 4 guys in the tiny room were happy….they could take a bigger room. But the new tenants who came refused to pay 6000 for the tiny room.  The house had a few empty rooms. DEWA and internet cost went high as number of people sharing reduced. The “4” realized that the others were paying 3000-5000 per head and not 1500 like them and they could not afford it.

Will this lead to a rationalization of rent? Will this lead to the “4” adding another 8-10 to the house to keep rent low. Will it see bunker beds like in Pilipino dwellings? Those I do not know, but I do know how the ghetto got built in the first place…..I do know why the rents in Dubai are so high. It is due to us and our brethren. We are to blame for it and not the brokers. We and especially my sloth J

Posted by Chaos in 08:22:35 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Fat or Fit

 


 

Rohan was sitting alone in his room. He looked at the scrap board. With news paper articles stuck covering him over the last 50 years; it was his joy and pride. Tomorrow will be his 121st birthday. He smiled. He had outlived everyone, friends and foe alike.

When he became 100, there was huge celebration. The fact that he was fit enough to dance at his 100th birthday caught the media fancy. Soon he was the poster boy for the “remain fit” campaign. True a few companies which specialized in weight loss and a few private hospitals were behind it, still Rohan preferred to see the good he was doing and not the commercial aspect of it. Rohan wonders if he will have a party tomorrow.

Rohan was like any other guy when young. He splurged his money on sins like gluttony. Spicy oily food, alcohol and sedentary lifestyle soon took a toll on his health.  At the age of 40, one day he got a wakeup call. No it was nothing like heart attack….it was just a power cut. His apartment power supply got conked. True Rohan and his wife Nivedita decided to shift immediately to a hotel; it is easier said than done. His Elder son Soumyakant was in boarding school and his daughter Parramatta was in tuition class when this disaster occurred.  Even with the chauffeur and guard assisting, Rohan had to make 2 trips to his apartment. True he did not carry any luggage, but just the two times climb up and down of 8 floors, destroyed him.  He had to sit for almost 30-40 minutes with Nivedita pampering him with water and fanning him, before he got into shape to even go to the hotel. Next day Rohan had cramps in his legs and could not go to office. Worse was the rent less teasing of Nivedita and Parramatta, who did not seem to have any ill effects of the disaster.

True the kids were young and can run up and down the stairs, but his wife was 36 and she seemed to have double of his stamina. That day lying in bed with nothing much to do, perhaps Rohan compared himself and his wife for the first time. True he was a successful executive and had made wise investments which had made him rich by 40, yet he had neglected his health. He was obese, and completely out of shape. Nivedita still looked like how she was when they had met for the first time 12 years ago. The birth of 2 kids had not changed her. True she had gained a few pounds and had a few grey hairs, but still was much better than Rohan.

 

Rohan decided to use the perks which come with money……dietician, personal trainer etc. He lost 10 pounds in the first month. There was no looking back from then. He ate only fruits and salads. He shunned fried stuff and alcohol. He went to gymn more regularly than office. The change was slow but stunning. When Rohan was 45 he took part and won the cities 15km marathon.  Seeing an “oldie” do what many youngsters failed made Rohan some sort of local celebrity. All his associates congratulated him on his new look and new found energy.  That increased his determination to stick to his plan. Soon he was spending more time with Robert his fitness instructor and Angelia his dietician than with his wife nivedita. This did lead to a few minor conflicts, especially when niveditta ordered the cook to make all nice dishes and serve them along with Rohan’s diet of fruits and salad. Rohan always admonished her for savoring the culinary delights and tempting him. She felt that he was going overboard with this health stuff. Soon the fights became more common

His view was same “do not I look better now. I have so much energy. Everyone has good things to say about me. Join my healthy life and we will live longer. If you keep eating those junk food, god forbid but…”

Her argument was “I might live a few hours less than you, but atleast I am living. See yourself. Yu do not go to any parties or function. Spend more time in gymn than with the kids. You are 46 now with a family. You are not some athlete or model.  I want my old Rohan back.”

 

And the closing dialogue will always be “Do what you want, just do not impose your lifestyle on others”

Soon Rohan started eating in the study, separate from nivedita. Nivedita volunteered for half a dozen charities and was invariably out visiting the poor and less fortunate people. The children were anyway out. Both Soumyakant and parimitta were in USA for their education. This frostiness in Rohan’s and Niveditta’s lifestyle thawed only once a year when the kids came home.

A small tear tickled down Rohan’s eye. At his 53rd year, Niveditta died in a road accident. Her last message for him was “live because you do not know how long life is”. Rohan’s lifestyle did not change much. He channeled his energy to the gymn and participated in all marathons held across the country. Seeing a 53 year old win makes bigger news than a 25 year old winning. Hence even the small and relatively unheard marathon victories of Rohan, became news. This was his passion and hobby.

After retirement rohan started a company specializing in fitness equipment. That and endorsements allowed him to maintain his lifestyle. Soumyakant and Parimitta though did not follow his doctrine. They ate junk food, did not exercise and were not even having a fitness trainer! Rohan’s constant lecture seemed to push them away. After Niveditta’s death, Rohan tried his best to bring the kids to his lifestyle, but only succeeded in further alienating them.

Soon Rohan had a small group of confidents…his lawyer, banker and off course Robert his fitness instructor and Angelia his dietician. Rohan took pride that he did not have a doctor like all his friends and colleagues. He was always fit.  At his 70th Birthday, Rohan lost his lawyer to heart attack. He then tried pulling his banker to gymn but bomshik turned him away saying “Rohan you are fit at 70, but I am spent at 59. Next year I will retire. All I will do is run with my grandchildren and not in gymn”

That made rohan realizes that he was not much aware of his extended family. Niveditta used to maintain those relations. He never went to family gatherings because the food was unhealthy and it made him miss the gym. He decided to make amendments and get his family together. For his 71st birthday he called everyone. He realized, he will be meeting many of them, including his grandchildren for the first time.  Many came, especially almost all his poorer relatives came. A few came with baggage to indicate that they will stay for months if not years. A 73 year old man, whose children have settled in USA and not seen him for last 10 years, sounds like delicious picking to many. The get together lasted almost 5 days. Initially Rohan did not try to impose his health doctrine to others but tried to show the way by example. Most people but had their life and their work …. Expect for Nichikant everyone left before the week was up. Nishikant was 24 years old and was searching for a job. Without job and home, he also was not being able to get married to his childhood sweetheart zubina. As zubina was from a different community, he knew that he will be thrown out of his parental home, if he even mentioned this.

For almost a year there was some activity in the house. Nishikant was a firm believer in Rohan’s Healthy life doctrine. His marriage was organized by Rohan. As the couple did not have a place to stay, they stayed with Rohan for a year. Rohan was happy. He made nishikant a manager in his company. Nishikant became the son he wanted but never had. Zubina took good care of the old man.  He got 2 rude shocks on his 74th birthday. Firstly that Nishikant had found another job in a different city and was moving out. The second was from a local hotel which sent him Nishikant’s and Zubena’s bill. It seemed like they were having almost every meal in the hotel. Rohan was too depressed to understand. His good friend Robert his fitness instructor explained to Rohan that Nishikant was never into this. He was just acting coz he wanted the money and house. Zubina had hoped that the old man will die and they will get a large share, but on seeing how fit and healthy he was, they decided to dump the idea.

The next 25 years were a blur. True Rohan’s body was healthy, but age showed itself on his mind. His senses were weakening and his memory was not that good. He did remember 1 incidents; the retirement party for Robert. Rohan found both Robert his fitness instructor and Angelia his dietician gorging on the fried chicken. Robert even had a glass in his hand!

“Rohan, common we are old now. Everyone cannot become a celebrity marathon runner like you. Let us enjoy our last few days” chided Robert.

Rohan would have loved to fire them both, but unfortunately both had retired. Rohan only did not hire anyone to replace them.  Still he took pride that he did not need a doctor. He celebrated his 100th birthday by running a 40KM national marathon. True he came 7th, but a 100 year old person completing a 40KM marathon is itself prime time news. His 100th Birthday was celebrated by the media.  He made more money that year in ads than his extended business empire made.

After that there were no other celebrations. His son Soumyakant died of a heart attack when Rohan was 103. Soumyakant was only 81, too young to die. Somehow others did not see it that way and felt that his Son had lived a successful life. His daughter Parimitta followed soon. Rohan did not have any friends left…..most of them had died a long time ago. Even his old employees were no longer around. Rohan stayed mainly in home, except for his gymn and marathon practice. He went to only 2 functions in the next 10 years.  The funerals of Robert his fitness instructor and Angelia his dietician. They both were atleast 30 years younger to Rohan if not more. 

After that life was a blur. Days seemed identical to each other. He was aware of his nurse. He was aware that his manager handled almost his entire business. He was aware that the entire house staff was new.

He was aware that tomorrow is his 120th Birthday. He wonders if it will be like his 100th birthday. He looks around and can see his cake. Everyone is there. Robert his fitness instructor and Angelia his dietician are there. His son Soumyakant and daughter Parimitta. Then he spotted niveditta his love and wife. Rohan summons the last of his energy to walk up to her.  “How are you dear” he says.

Niveditta replies “Come over Rohan, we all are waiting for you”

 

 

Today is Rohan’s 120th Birthday. It is also his funeral. He was found dead by his nurse. It is expected that his lawyer, nurse and manager will attend the funeral. His company will also close early today to enable the employees to pay their last dues to their company owner. A gathering of almost 10 people is expected including the funeral service team. 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted by Chaos in 08:52:36 | Permalink | Comments (122)